Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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