Don't you send me to vm
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
