What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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