is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
