Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
