WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I am full of burrito and curiosity
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
