We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
