I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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