I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
