I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
