he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
This house was built for laser tag.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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