I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
me + whiskey = a bad person
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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