he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Never underestimate the power of titties
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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