just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
