I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
It's rum buckets o'clock
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
