I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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