I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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