I swear she didn't look like that last week.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
