I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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