And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
