I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
