I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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