Duck Duck Cougar?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
