I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
