put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
