she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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