the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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