There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Randomize
