did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
