We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Randomize
