How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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