just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
