And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
look no pants
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
