No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
