The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
