She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
