yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
