the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Randomize
