Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
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