It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
