So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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