Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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