I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
If its not for food we ain't going out.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
