did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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