All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Randomize
