i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
