I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
