I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Randomize
