Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
