she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
