i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Couch. On fire.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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