she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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